What happens during a Zoladex implant injection appointment?

Today was my first ever Zoladex treatment. My breast cancer is oestrogen positive so to prevent another reoccurrence, this time I am being put in to the menopause.

Zoladex (also known as Goserelin) is used in the treatment of hormone-sensitive breast cancer, particularly in premenopausal women like me. Zoladex works by suppressing ovarian function, which in turn reduces the production of oestrogen—a hormone that unfortunately for me, has fuelled the growth of my oestrogen positive breast cancer. Essentially the Zoladex is will temporarily "shut down" my ovaries by sending signals to my brain to stop production of oestrogen. If I can cope with the symptoms of menopause then I will consider opting to have my ovaries removed. The great thing about Zoladex is that the effects are reversible, should my quality of life be impacted to a great extent.

In breast cancer treatment, Zoladex is often used in combination with other therapies such as surgery, chemotherapy, or hormonal treatments. It is typically prescribed to women who have early-stage hormone receptor-positive breast cancer or those who are at high risk of recurrence. By lowering oestrogen levels, Zoladex helps to shrink tumours, prevent cancer recurrence, and, in some cases, delay the need for chemotherapy.

Zoladex is an implant that sits under the skin and is administered via an injection, usually every month (like in my case) or every three months, depending on the treatment plan. While it is not a cure for breast cancer, it is a valuable tool in managing the disease and improving long-term outcomes for many patients. As with any medication, it carries potential side effects, including menopause-like symptoms such as hot flashes and changes in menstrual cycles and the one that they mention the most.... vaginal dryness. Everyone is different so I'll let you know how I get on. 

I recorded the injection in case anyone (like me) prefers to know what's coming...

What happens during a radiotherapy planning appointment?

This morning I attending my radiotherapy planning appointment at Liverpool Clatterbridge Centre. I wasn't nervous at all for this one, in fact the only thing that bothered me was that my appointment was at 8.15am - who does that!?!

I gave my name in at reception and waited to be called my one of the nursing team. She took me in to a side room and went through all of my details. I'd already signed a  consent form for my radiotherapy so the nurse went through some health and medication questions with me. After that I was taken in to the CT room for my scan so that the doctor and radiographers can work out the best way to deliver radiation to the area that needs treatment.

The CT scan helps create detailed images of my body to show exactly where the cancer was and how the radiation should be aimed to prevent future reoccurrence.

I hopped on to the bed and I was asked to lie still with my arms above my head in the stirrups.
During the scan a small breathing monitor was placed on my tummy and I was asked to practice holding my breath. It was quite easy and a small screen in front of me showed my breath as a blue line. I needed to keep my breath held for 20 seconds in the green space during the practice. The reason I have to hold my breath is that the area that I am having my radiotherapy on is very close to my heart. Breathing in will ensure that my heart does not get zapped!

Dot worry though, if you cough or cant hold your breath, then as soon as the blue line moves out of the green the radiotherapy automatically stops.

 Once the scan was complete, the team explained that in order to make sure the radiation hits the right spot each time I needed to have three small tattoos (just dots) on my skin as markers. One in the centre (between my boobs) and one on each side - just level with my underams.

The tattoos are tiny and permanent, and will basically guide the radiotherapy team in giving me the correct treatment. The whole process is carefully planned to make sure the radiation targets only the cancerous area and protects the surrounding healthy tissue.

Oncology Appointment

Another nervy day. I'm at Clatterbridge Aintree to discuss the benefits of chemo. My Oncoscore came back as 18. In women over 50 this usually means chemo isn't beneficial however because I'm a pre-menopausal 42 year old, they want to let me have all of the facts. 

The appointment takes place in a separate building to the normal breast clinic. It's bright an airy and John and I arrive on time for my 9am appointment. I check in and wait to be called. 

My oncologist Dr Hart calls be through. We go through my full cancer history since my first diagnosis back in 2017. She explains why my score of 18 is a grey area and discuss that there would be a 1.8% reduction in reoccurrence should I have the chemotherapy. 

The chemo itself would be a 9 week initial phase on one chemo drug and then a further 8/9 weeks on a different chemotherapy drug. Dr Hart explains that pre-menopausal women could in fact be seeing the benefit from chemo just from the side effects of being put in to early menopause. We discuss the side effects and potential issues as well as the benefits. John and I ask lots of questions but having heard the percentage benefit is so low, I immediately confirm that my decision is to avoid chemotherapy.

With the decision made, Dr Hart then talks us through the next steps for endocrine drugs to suppress my oestrogen production and the radiotherapy.

Radiotherapy

I'll start my having an initial consultation with the radiographer. I'll have a CT scan to gain a detailed scan off my top half so they can plan where the radiotherapy is needed. I'm told about the risks of the radiotherapy such as damage to my heart and the skin issues that will inevitably occur. 

I ask about whether tattoos are still needed to ensure my position in the machine. My nurse confirms I'll get 3 small dots tattooed. 

Endocrine Therapy

I'll be having two types of drugs to reduce the risk of reoccurrence. As both cancers have been oestrogen receptor positive - meaning oestrogen helps the cancer cells to grow these drugs will help stop me from producing oestrogen. :

Goserelin (Zoladex)

I'm briefly told that this drug comes in injection form and will be administered every 4 weeks. It will put my in to early menopause by stopping the production of oestrogen from my ovaries. It works by interfering with the signals in my brain, stopping my ovaries from doing their usual hormone producing job. 

Exemestane

Usually pre-menopausal women are prescribed a 5 or 10 year course of Tamoxifen. One of the risks of taking this drug is that in can increase the risk of DVT. As I suffered with a DVT during my second pregnancy, Dr Hart has suggested I take Exemestane, an aromatase inhibitor, as an alternative. I'll let you know more when I've read up on it!

I'm handed a lot of reading material and send off to read up.

So essentially in about a weeks time, I'm going to be thrown in to the menopause without any HRT support. Should I start to panic? Can anyone recommend anything that might help?

CT Scan Results

It's the day I've been dreading. In the waiting room, my heart is in its usual state of almost catapulting itself out of my rib cage. Luckily my amazing boyfriend is with me and he helps to settle my nerves.

After over an hours wait, we are finally called in. My consultant shares the good news, essentially it's all good. Despite being invasive, the cancer hasn't spread outside of my breast. My lymph nodes and bones are clear.

The scan has however shown that there is actually two lumps in my left breast so they'll need to add a savi scout marker during another ultra sound scan prior to my op.

The scan also revealed a 4-5cm cyst on my ovary so I'll be sent for further scans and blood tests for that. 

I feel like a weight has been lifted. I was so scared that the cancer had spread to my spine because I've been suffering with back problems for a few months. Now I can hopefully get a good nights sleep for once and just look forward to having the cancer removed in a couple of weeks.

CT Scan Day

When your cancer returns second time around, your NHS consultant will send you for a CT Scan to see if the cancer is a new primary or if it is secondary and has unfortunately spread to other areas of your body such as your bones or your brain.

The CT scan isn't as daunting as the MRI as you don't go in to a big tube and feel completely claustrophobic.

Photo Credit: David Millington 

During the scan, the radiology team will inject you with a dye called a contrast medium. They tell you that you will feel like you have wet yourself but you haven't. It is such a strange feeling! Genuinely feels like you've peed yourself for a minute or two! 

I was asked to lie flat throughout. At various points I was told to hold my breath while they took various scans.

The whole thing took about 40 minutes for the full body scan although, If you do have the dye you may be asked to stay at the hospital for up to 30 minutes afterwards so ensure you don't have any adverse reactions. 

I'll get my results in a couple of weeks once the radiologist has analyst my images. 

NHS Cancer Prehabilitation

Prehabilitation was something completely new to me this time around. I was invited to the hospital to run through my diagnosis and assist me in getting as fit and healthy for my op and cancer treatment both physically and mentally. 

I filled out a questionnaire in the waiting room and then had a one to one session with one of the nurses. 

I was actually a great session, we talked about various things:

• Exercise: They offered my a couple of weekly exercise classes at the hospital as well as some tailored exercises to assist after my operation. 
• Nutrition: We discussed the benefits of a balanced diet and should i need it, Advice from a  access to tailored support.
• Mental wellbeing: We talked a lot about how I was feeling following my diagnosis. Luckily, having been through it before, I am feeling positive. I have that "I've smashed it before, I'll do it again" mentality but it was explained that I can at anytime reach out to them for emotional and psychological support 
• Information and other services: Education about your diagnosis and treatment from a clinical nurse specialist. Help with stopping smoking if you need it and details of how to get support from the Macmillan cancer information and support service.

I don't think this is available through all NHS trusts but I found it very beneficial and a great help.

Find out more from Cancer Research.

 

Biopsy Results Day

So the registrar wasn't wrong. The breast cancer has made a miraculous return to my body, despite having a double mastectomy.

This time though, its gone one better. The cancer is invasive: Grade 2 ER+ 8 PR+ 8 Her2 negative but apparently it is NST - no special type. 

Its a whirlwind of a day. I'm told by my consultant that its small, in fact he says he would have sent me away and told me not to worry!

So next steps is to get me in for surgery -  a wide local incision (WLE) on 2nd September.

I'm also being sent for genetic testing - something that I requested last time around but it want available on the NHS. Now the rules have changed and so because I was first diagnosed at 36, I can be tested for various genetic mutations that could cause cancer. 

Wish me luck x

"It's Back"

So.... its been a while guys. I had truly hoped that my cancer journey had come to an end but I found a new lump... well more like a spot if I'm honest so I got in touch with the breast nurses and they invited me in for an examination. 

Walking in to the breast unit felt so strange, I was immediately catapulted back in to a place of anxiety. My heart felt like it was pounding outside of my body. However weirdly, I wasn't worried. I genuinely thought, if anything, that I was wasting their time. 

Eventually I was called in to the consultants room. It wasn't Mr Martin, my previous consultant, it was his registrar. We spoke briefly and I explained about this 'spot' before I hopped on the bed to be examined. She spent a prolonged time feeling the area and then decided to send me for an immediate ultrasound. 

I left my mum in the waiting room while I went to have the scan. It soon became apparent that they were concerned and before I knew it I was having a biopsy taken and a marker put in to my left breast.

I tried to stay positive in my head. As I was sent back to the waiting room, I recalled that previous biopsy trips had resulted in a 3 week wait to get results. Knowing I had a holiday to look forward to in less than two weeks meant I could hopefully forget about all this until I returned. 

No... that's not how it went. 

Again I was called back to the registrar and she very bluntly said "Yeah, it's back". No hesitation, no pussy footing around, no three week wait for results... just "Yeah, it's back"

I was so confused and taken aback that I waked out of the office, collected my mum and went straight back to the car. I just was not expecting that news, especially not delivered in that way.

I head home in disbelief. Sh*t, how am I going to tell the children? We're supposed to be going to see Kings of Leon tonight in Manchester. It's the last thing I want to do right now.

I call the breast nurses when I get home to check that I had heard correctly. They apologised for the abruptness of it all and that I hadn't been spoken too by one of the breast care nurses to process. They said although they don't have the biopsy results, they know that it is definitely cancer so they tell you at this stage so you can prepare for it when you come back for the results.

I sit at home waiting for my kids to get home (they are 17 and 13). We have an honesty policy in our house... no secrets. So I get them together when they land back home. I explain that my breast cancer has returned and we go through their questions. They are so understanding but fearful. We hug for what feels like forever, before deciding we should still go to the concert... make memories... and we did...

So we begin again. I'm back in three weeks, after our Summer trip to Crete,  to get the biopsy results. 

Prophylactic Mastectomy Results

I feel such a sense of relief. I've just had the results back from my prophylactic mastectomy. It wasn't 100% clear but the news is good. They found a small 2cm area of DCIS with +1cm of clear margin. As far as my consultant is concerned I absolutely made the right decision to go ahead with the operation.

All my anxiety has disappeared. I dont wake up worrying about every lump and bump.

My story isn't over just yet. I've now been listed for exchange surgery to switch my expander for an implant and Ill need one further surgery after that to share my nipple. For now though, I can rest easy.

It's Prophylactic Mastectomy Day

Today's the day. I'm actually feeling really calm. I'm not due in until 11am as the nurse called yesterday to let me know I could come an hour later as I was on the afternoon surgery list.

We head to the hospital, with my bag packed with everything on my mastectomy bag checklist and this time I head to a general surgery waiting room. I check in but I'm told my husband cant stay with me - the waiting room is for patients only. Why? I start to feel anxious even though I've been ok all morning.

Chris sits down with me while I sort my things out.

"Leanne Nash"

The nurse calls me through just to measure my calves ready for my sexy DVT tights. I'm handed the tights and sent back to the waiting area.

We take a few minutes and then say our goodbyes. It's so scary being left on your own. I hate it.

"Leanne"

Another nurse calls and we head off down a different corridor. First she goes through my details; name and date of birth first and then on with the ID bracelets -both wrists! Next, I'm asked what operation I'm having, I reply right prophylactic mastectomy but explain I still need to talk to my consultant about my nipple options. She used to work with my consultant and puts me at ease about all of the different routes I can take, she even shares anecdotes of her time with Mr M, my doctor. We laugh - a lot. Back to the tick boxes though...Allergies? Metal work? All my own teeth? The nurse is so lovely and we end up chatting and giggling for so long that another nurse knocks on the door to see whats taking so long. The phlebotomist and the anaesthetist have both been calling my name. She wraps it up and takes me to get my bloods done. I do wonder why they are needed again when I have already had blood taken during my pre-op a couple of weeks ago.

This time it's the anaesthetist .  She checks my ID bands and goes through the same questions as the nurse as well as asking if Ive ever had any reaction to anaesthetic before. I haven't but I get a flash back to the poor lady that I heard during my last operation. The anaesthetist tells me Im first on the list so should be going down to theatre at 1pm. Not too long to wait, thank goodness. As she wraps up I can here my consultant Mr M outside. As she leaves he comes in.

He greets me and tells me I'm his only surgical patient today so as soon as theatre opens again after lunch I'll be called. First, I have a few questions about my nipple. I lost my left nipple during my wide local incision. For the prophylactic surgery I was given a number of options for my nipple:

1. Lose the nipple
2. Keep the nipple on the right but no nipple on the left
3. Share the nipple - keep it during the mastectomy but at a later date split it in two and share it with the left side.

Mr M had said that I could just let him know on the day which option I would take.

In all honesty, I had been certain that I'd just lose the right nipple too however this week I had a big heart to heart about how I feel about bad boob and how I want to feel and look as 'normal' as I can. It's just the risk of keeping even a small bit of breast tissue that is playing on my mind. If they find anything untoward at all in the right breast then I'd rather lose the nipple but if its clear then I'd like to share it. I'm also worried that the nipple might die after the op due to lack of blood supply but Mr M explains that he's never had an unsuccessful share.

It's time to make the final decision. "I'd like to keep the nipple and then share it."

Mr M explains that this means he can likely go straight to implant and i'll avoid the bulky heavy expander that I have on the left. I take my top half of clothing off and he marks me up ready with a big black marker. The line goes around my nipple and off to the side across my breast. A different scar to last time.

He leaves  and I go back to the waiting room. I really wish I'd have had someone with me to ask more questions. I immediately panic that I've made the wrong decision and head out to the corridor. I'm in floods of tears. I feel like I'm now tempting fate for the sake of vanity. I hate this.I head back to the waiting room to wait. After 20 minutes....

"Leanne"

The friendly nurse calls me through. It's time for me to don my gown and my sexy DVT socks. She insists we take a photo to document my sexiness. We giggle a lot as I pose for the camera!

Before I know it I'm walking down to theatre. This time there is no pre theatre anaesthetic area so I head straight in to the theatre and lie on the operating table. The cannular goes in easily this time around and I'm given oxygen to breathe. I don't even make the countdown. I'm out.

Two hours later I come around in the recovery room. I'm sore and I groan as I regain consciousness. I ask for something to ease the pain and I'm injected in to the cannular. I fall back asleep.

When I wake up again, they call the porter. I'm ready to be taken to the ward. Last time there were no beds soI had been gifted an ensuite room in the private part of the hospital - no such luck this time.

There are two other ladies already on the general surgery ward and they stare as Im wheeled in. The pain has resumed and I hate the fact that I have company. The nurse comes in to check my obs and I ask her to pass me my phone so I can call home and message my Mum.

My husband says he's going to come straight in. I give a a list of things I want - Lucozade Orange, chocolate and grapes. He delivers!

At 7.30pm we say goodbye for the night. I know it's going to be a long one as I'm on 2 hour observation. I get woken through the night and have to keep asking for more painkillers. I'm given oramorph again so soon im vomiting despite the anti sickness tablets.

Despite hardly any sleep the light comes on to wake us just after at 6.30am - what the actual hell - it's Saturday for Gods sake! I close my eyes and go back to sleep.

A general surgeon visits at about 9.30am and asks how I am. He says i'll be able to go home around lunch time. My consultant isn't here because its the weekend. I ask if the op went welland for confirmation as to whether I now have an implant oran expander. The doc seems confused and has to thoroughly read through all of the notes to confirm I have an implant. I'll be sent home with codeine, paracetamol and a course of antibiotics. As soon as the pharmacy send them up I'll be able to go.

It feels strange this time around. I don't know if it's because it's now the weekend or because I've chosen to have this operation rather than it being a necessity but I feel Im just not being looked after the same. There's no physio to see how I'm doing, tell me what exercises to do. There's no support session like before. When the breast nurse arrives she tells be I wont be given a specialist bra like last time because they are just for cancer patients. It makes me feel a bit down and I just want to go home to the children.

Finally my husband arrives at the same time as my meds. I grab my pillow, he grabs the bags and we head home. I feel a sense of relief that I got what I wanted. It's over. I can start to move on.

Prophylactic Mastectomy - Should I keep My Nipple?

So last week I went back to see my surgeon. We're really happy with the scarring and the overall shape I have with the expander in and Mr M says I'm ready to have the exchange surgery to switch from the hard bulky expander to an implant. At this point I raise the fact that I still want to go ahead with the prophylactic surgery on the 'healthy breast'. 

I can tell my my consultants face that he's against this and re-iterates the fact that it's not necessary. I explain that from Day 1, back in December when I got my diagnosis, I have always asked for them to take both breasts. It just isn't worth the risk for me. I have 2 children, I live for them, I'm not risking it. No way. Mr M says I will need to see the psychologist agan to get final approval. I explain I have already spent sometime with him and I know he will approve it.

Because I'm opting for the second mastectomy, the exchange surgery will need to wait. I now have a number of options to consider for the mastectomy surgery:

1. Lose the nipple
- this would mean I have to go through exactly the same process as before. When you have your nipple removed you have to have an expander to enable the skin to stretch. If I go ahead with this then I'll have mastectomy with expander,weekly fills up to 450cc as on the left side and then once complete and rested the exchange to implants will happen together to allow a better match.

If I go ahead with this option then there are more options of what I can do to look like I have nipples again. 3D areola tattoos, prosthetic 'stick on' nipples and I can even have flesh taken from elsewhere to make a nipple shape in place of those that I have lost that can be tattooed over too to give a realistic colour.

An example of customised nipple prosthesis.
Image: www.feelingwholeagain.com

2. Keep the nipple on the right breast
- this would leave me with 'odd' boobs and looking pretty much like I do now. One breast with a nipple and one without. I already know that this isn't the option for me, I want uniformity. I want to match both sides regardless of whether I have nipples or not.

3. Share the nipple
- this is something that I had actually read upon myself and decided to ask about. So, if I went ahead, I would keep my right nipple. It would remain in place after the mastectomy but at a later date (probably after the exchange surgery and during another day case under anaesthetic) my nipple would be split it in two and made in to two nipples. Half will remain on my right breast and the other transplanted and 'shared' on to the left side.

Keeping the nipple does leave me with a slight risk as there will still be a small amount of breast tissue that remains but given that my right breast is healthy, I am torn. There is a lot to think about. I just need to consider all of the options and do what is right for me.

Mr M explains that once Ive been approved my the psychologist he will go ahead an complete the operation for me. With regards to my nipple, I can just let him know my decision on the morning of the operation. I'm likely to be on the waiting list for 6 months to a year. Thank god I'm getting what I want finally!

Sister Stories: Heather H Brown

July 28, 2016 my life as I knew it, turned upside down. I had gone in January 2016 for my annual mammogram. I had a baseline at the age of 35 and have gone annually since I was 40. My mother had some issues with her breast but hers always turned out to be benign. I had a great Aunt who died as a result of breast cancer but as far as I was aware, those were the only two issues in my family. So, the results came back in January and I was advised that I had calcification that showed up and had not been there the year before. The doctor did not seem too concerned but stated they would like to see me back in 6 months. I was not concerned either but did come home and do some research about calcification. In the end, I felt comfortable with the doctor’s suggestion.

Fast forward six months… we decided to sell our house, my oldest was graduating from High School in May, we had a graduation party on the books for June, and a cruise planned to celebrate my son’s graduation. Sometime in May 2016, I felt a lump doing a self-check. I had my husband feel the spot and he agreed he felt something. Not overly concerned because I knew I had another mammogram scheduled for July plus all that we had on our plate, I pushed it out of my mind. The house sold, we moved, lived in a hotel (Davidson Village Inn), moved into the new house, son graduated, had the party, and went on the cruise. Now it’s July 2016 and time for my mammogram. I had a normal mammogram, paid to do the 3D mammogram, but then they did not tell me to change back into my clothes, no, I set in a room and then was called to the ultrasound room. It was not until then did I ask the doctor, “So, what brings me to this point?” She said, “The calcification from January has turned into a mass and you have formed a new set of calcifications.” As I watched the screen, I knew the mass did not look good, it’s shape was off and the lump was grayish in color. The doctor asked for me to come back for a biopsy. I went for the biopsy on a Tuesday, my husband was out of town and my father was here with me. During the biopsy (not the most pleasant experience), I asked the doctor if someone should come with me for the results, she advised, “It probably would be good to have another set of ears with you.” I asked if she was concerned and she advised, “Yes, I don’t like how the mass looks.” I still was not concerned; my husband was not due back until the evening on Thursday but he insisted on coming back and going with me. Thursday comes around and the three of us (my husband, my father, and myself) head to the appointment. Out walks the doctor and another lady in a white lab coat, it was not until that moment that my heart began to beat really fast and my mind thought for the first time, “I am not going to hear good news.” Sure enough, my husband and I head back to the room and the doctor tells me I have invasive ductal carcinoma as well as ductal carcinoma in situ. What does that mean? Well, I have cancer and need to meet with a surgeon, oncologist, and plastic surgeon. Life started spinning out of control, everything was moving at a records pace. The surgeon advised I would need chemotherapy and a mastectomy. The oncologist wanted to start chemo 2 days after I meet with him. My husband knew I did not want to lose my hair, we had watched his mother go through breast cancer six years ago, so we kind of knew what was in store for us. He had a friend whose wife had been diagnosed with breast cancer and she keep her hair by using something called the penguin cap. My husband began to do research and found out that Wake Forest Baptist Hospital had just finished a study using the DigniCap. So, we set up an appointment at Wake Forest to meet with an oncologist there. I loved everything about the doctor at Wake Forest, she reminded me of my mother, whom passed away approximately 10 years ago. We were told we could use the DigniCap but that it was self-pay and not covered by insurance. My husband and I discussed the cost and both felt it would be worth it to give it a try, if I could keep my hair. I wanted things to remain as normal as possible and keeping my hair would be a big step in allowing that to occur.

So, Wake Forest Baptist Hospital was our choice for my chemotherapy treatments. My first chemo treatment began August 30, 2016, my husband and I arrived at the hospital bright and early. We checked in and I paid for the DigniCap (we did this at every treatment, as I could choose to not continue with using the DigniCap if I did not like the results). I signed disclosures and then was taken back to a private room to be fitted for the cap. It’s an experience, you have to wet your hair, in the small sink in the room, then sit on the bed with your hair dripping wet until they figure out the right size cap. There were many tries, the cap coming off and on several times, one particular nurse was about to cry because she felt the cap was “not perfectly fitting on my head as it should,” I told her “absolutely no crying.” That process took about an hour or longer, then we had to wait for the machine to cool to it’s proper temperature, negative 3 degree Celsius. Once the machine reached the desired temperature, they could begin the pre-meds and then the chemo. I had four chemo drugs that I was receiving, which took about four hours, then I had to cool down for two hours, still wearing the cap. Needless to say, the day was very long.

In between chemo treatments, I would go to the Oncology unit here in Huntersville NC, to receive fluids and have blood work. My chemo schedule was every three week and every week getting blood drawn. There were times my blood work was very low and potentially I needed a blood transfusion, I did not want one, so i asked all my friends and family to pray as well as myself that this would not be needed. Every time, God came through with my prayer request. I also have to have my heart checked every three months due to one of the medications I receive could damage my heart. I have had two of those and so far, my heart is just as strong now as when we started. My six rounds of chemo stopped on December 13, 2016. Overall, the process was manageable, it definitely got worse as the treatment accumulated but I could manage it with medication. I am happy to say that the DigniCap allowed me to keep 90% of my hair. I cannot tell you how much this affected my mind set, attitude, and overall well-being. I looked the same, acted the same, maybe a few pounds lighter but overall, I was me.

During my treatment, my half-sister, whom I knew of but did not seek out as my mother felt since she had to give her up for adoption, it would not be right to up root her family if she did not know she was adopted, found me on September 16, 2016. Talk about God’s timing, it could not have happened at a better time. Our biological mother had died 10 years ago, so she did not get to enjoy getting to know her first born.

Following treatment, the next step was surgery- scheduled January 13, 2017. Bilateral mastectomy plus the start of the reconstructive process and removal of ovaries and fallopian tubes (all other parts had been removed six years earlier). I needed three doctors to complete my surgery. The surgery would take approximately six hours. I stayed one night in the hospital and came home the next day. I will be going through the expansion process for a couple of weeks and then I will have to wait eight weeks before I can do the exchange surgery. During all this, I still go and receive my Herceptin infusions every three weeks until the end of August.

After my surgery, the pathology came back that there is “no evidence of disease, NED.” Praise the Lord! Throughout this journey, I looked to my faith for comfort of the unknown, I knew he had chosen me for this diagnosis and I knew the outcome was in his hands.

Closing, this journey would not have been possible without the loving support of my husband, Charlie Brown, my boy’s Conlan and Keegan, my father, Bill Howard, my newly found sister Seanette Meserole, and my Flock (Jo Ann Darby, Cindi VanWingerden, Stephanie Edwards, Nila Grier, Shelley Hartsell, Rena Taylor, and Jen Hellar), as well as Stephanie Bradley and Jenny Bodenheimer, plus a whole slew of family members and friends. As they say, “it takes a village” and it sure does.

My official diagnosis was:

Right breast
- High grade invasive mammary carcinoma
- Nuclear grade 3 of 3
- Mitotic rate: High
- Combined histologic grade High (9 of 9)
- Minor component of high-grade DCIS with lobular extension also present
- HER2+ amplified

Also had high grade DCIS with terminal duct lobular extension
Nuclear grade 3 of 3


Following my NED status I have since formed a nonprofit 501 3 (c) called Hope for Hair Foundation. Our mission is to provide support to cancer patients at risk for hair loss as a result of chemotherapy in two ways: Financial aid for DigniCap (or other cooling cap methods) and by educating and providing products that will help ensure successful hair retention.


For more information check out our website at www.hopeforhair.org.

Can I still have a massage if I've had cancer?

There seems to be a lot of confusion over whether or not you are allowed to have massages if you have cancer, are going through chemo or have had cancer and had lymph node removal. Someone had told me that massages can spread cancer around the body (although there is no evidence medical evidence to suggest this), another told me I couldn't have any massage at all anywhere on my body in case of lymphadema.

In fact so many people had told me I wasn't allowed a massage following my surgery so when I was approached to review a fantastic Balance and Calm Signature Treatment in partnership with Wellness for Cancer™ at The Midland Hotel Spa in Manchester, I jumped at the chance.

Prior to the spa day and treatment one of the therapists contacted me by phone for an initial consultation to go through all of my health concerns and ensure the treatment was tailored specifically to my needs. Knowing that I had spoken to my therapist before the session really put me at ease. The spa was fully aware of exactly where I was up to in terms of my illness so I couldn't wait to get there.

Treating my mother-in-law to a trip with me to the Spa we headed to The Midland Hotel. It's worth noting that you entrance The Spa at the side of the building.The first thing that hit me when we arrived was the amazing smell of aromatic oils. We headed down the beautiful winding staircase and were greeted by the reception team and shown around. The Spa has a gym, relaxation room, jacuzzi, pool, sauna, salt-infusion aromatherapy steam bath and an amazing lifestyle shower.

After being allocated a locker containing a robe, slippers and towel, we changed and headed to the pool area to relax before our treatments.

I spent most of my time in the pool and the jacuzzi however I was feeling a bit sniffly so thought I'd try the salt-infused aromatherapy steam room. It was fantastic for clearing it up. It's hot and dry but felt really good. To cool down, despite saying I wasn't going to get my hair wet I decided to head to the lifestyle shower. This is a huge shower that stimulates your circulatory system. It feels like being caught in a tropical storm - very invigorating!

At 1 o'clock we headed back to the reception area. I was greeted by Hayley my lovely therapist and we headed to the treatment room. The place is huge! The room was lovely and warm and I was told to take a seat so we could run through some further health questions. I explained that I'd had a unilateral mastectomy and sentinal lymphnode removal. Hayley explained that because of the few lymphnodes I'd had taken away she would adjust the treatment and avoid massaging in that direction. She explained each part of the Balance and Calm Treatment to me so I knew what to expect.

I was left in the treatment room to get changed and hop on to the heated massage table. Unfortunately I was really uncomfortable as I lay face down because of my expander implant but as soon as Hayley returned I let her know and she arranged some towels underneath my shoulders to take the pressure off and the first part of the treatment could begin.

To start the Balance & Calm Treatment I was given an amazing full body massage (back, arm & hand and legs & feet) using ESPA Nourishing Body Oil. I can not tell you how relaxing this was. The best massage I've ever had and I certainly needed it. All of the tightness is my muscles seemed to disappear and it seemed to go on forever, I almost drifted off I was so relaxed. Once the massage was complete I needed to move on to my back. Hayley held up the towel to protect my modestly so I could lie down ready for the next phase of the treatment, the facial.

I have to admit, I've never had a facial at a spa before - I usually spend my money on massages. I was surprised by how relaxing the facial was as I am usually quite funny about people touching my face! After completing the facial cleanse and massage with ESPA Tri Active Night Booster, an ESPA Overnight Hydration Therapy Mask was left on my face while my therapist moved on to a head massage.

Wow! I cannot tell you how amazing the head massage was. Hayley used ESPA Pink Hair & Scalp Mask and advised me to leave this on my hair for as long as possible. Luckily I had a hair bobble with me so I tied my hair up for the journey home.

The Balance & Calm session was just perfect. Everything I needed to relax after what has been the most horrendous 6 months of my life. I was transported away from my every day worries and felt so calm and at ease. I can highly recommend the treatment, I will certainly be going back again. My skin was just glowing and my hair had a new lease of life.

I know when I had mentioned in some of my online support groups that I was having this treatment some of you were asking questions so I made sure to ask them on your behalf...

Can I still attend the spa day if I'm receiving active treatment - chemotherapy or radiotherapy?

Yes, it is ideal to come just before or close attending a treatment as this is generally when you may feel ‘well’ or be feeling less affected by the treatment or side effects.

What if I've had full lymphnode removal?

It is important for us to understand if Lymph nodes have been removed or radiated so we can adapt the treatment to suit. In some cases it may be better to you touch therapy such as Reiki rather than a traditional massage however every single Balance & Calm treatment is bespoke and tailored to each individual.

Can I use the sauna/steam rooms/jacuzzi if I've got or had cancer ?

It is not recommended to use the thermal facilities as the heat exposure may make you feel unwell but it is entirely at your discretion if you feel well enough.

Is there anything in the spa that should be avoided at the spa for certain patients?
We would not recommend to have a rasul experience and certainly no nail treatments that include any cuticle work to minimise the risk of infection.

If you have any other questions then be sure to ask in the comments below and I can get an answer for you.

After the treatments we headed to the relaxation room. It's divided in to 4 seperate areas, all very calming and dimly lit to help you just escape your everyday.

Feeling really relaxed from our treatments we headed to the 'Big Sleep' area first. There are three small beds tucked away in the corner. Such a great little area to close your eyes and continue to leave your stresses behind.

In the relaxation area there are a number of complimentary teas for you to drink. We took some tea and then I headed in to one of the 'Hanging Pods' to chill a bit more. There are 4 pods enclosed behind a voile curtain.

There is also two 'Time Out' areas where you can kick back and relax in that the spa can actually close off for groups if you book ahead and a 'Lounge Seating' space where you can relax in a sound cancelling egg shaped chairs.

I absolutely loved this room, the only non relaxing part was trying to get out of the hanging pod. Let's just say I had the grace of a baby elephant!

By 3pm we were getting really peckish so we headed to the dining area for our afternoon tea.

We were served THE most delicious treats. Sandwiches with delicious fillings, cakes to die for - a manadrin cake slice, jaffa cake chocolates and pistachio and pear crumble cake.

We were so full that we had to take the scones, jam and clotted cream home with us to eat later on.

It was truly scrumptious and the perfect end to the day.



We could have headed back to the spa for more time in pool and sauna rooms or the relaxation area but we decided to head home.

I cannot recommend the Midland Hotel Spa's 'Wellness For Cancer' spa day highly enough. I feel amazing. I wish that everyone going through this horrible breast cancer journey could experience this. I can't tell you the difference it has made to me. For the first time in weeks I feel like my anxiety has taken a step back and I've been able to take a step away from the everyday pains and worries that this horrible disease brings.

If you are interested in booking for yourself or a friend then there are a couple of options, you can either book the treatment on it's own or book a full spa day.

Balance & Calm Signature Treatment
The Balance and Calm experience combines a personalised consultation, mindful touch and breathing, tension releasing back massage, nourishing facial including skin analysis with a
scalp and hand massage to leave you feeling refreshed and rejuvenated, enveloping you in calm.
and a soothing facial.

85 minutes for £105

Wellness For Cancer Spa Day
Including
* An 85 minute signature Balance & Calm treatment (as above)
* Either a light lunch or afternoon tea in the spa café
* Full use of the relaxation room, spa facilities and gym all day

Monday-Thursday £135pp
Friday-Sunday £155pp

Book online now

Disclosure: I attended the spa day free of charge in return for an honest review.